We love our non-Maryland friends. We really do. Making friends with people from other states is so cool - we meet them at college, at work, online and on vacation. It's so cool to meet up with people and learn about their slang, their fast food and their unique customs. But, inevitably, cultures will clash, and those out-of-state friends are just not going to get your specific problems or cravings. Things like...
1. They don't get what's so great about Royal Farms.
"Can't we just get KFC?" Um, excuse me? Does it look like we're in Kentucky? Same with Popeye's. This is not Lousiana, this is Maryland, and in Maryland, we love Royal Farms. No, not all chicken is the same, because Royal Farms is the best. (They got an entire arena in Baltimore named after them, for goodness sake! This loyalty goes far and deep.) Don't skip those fries, either.
Photo via Royal Farms
2. They think weather just stays the same all year round.
We get it -- where you come from, it's 70 degrees all year round and it never snows and it never gets so hot that you'll melt into the pavement. We assume unicorns and fairies live there, too. Here in Maryland, you'll just have to accept the fact that you'll have experienced all four seasons before lunchtime and most types of weather by dinner. As long as you pack an umbrella, a winter coat, sunglasses, sunscreen and flip flops, you'll be ready for a Maryland day.
3. They don't understand why you can't get wine at the grocery store.
All right, other states, you guys win this one. Of course we'd like to be able to run to our local Safeway or Trader Joe's and get all of our meals for the week, plus a bottle of our favorite Boordy or Linganore wine, but we don't because we can't. (Guess we'll just have to go get a slushie at Royal Farms instead.)
A headline that will never apply to us, via Bon Appetit
4. They want to know when the construction on 695 will be done.
In the words of George R. R. Martin -- oh, my sweet summer child. 695 will never be complete. If you're not getting mowed down by the aggressive drivers on the Beltway, you're sitting for four thousand years. Fossil records indicate the dinosaurs of the Cretaceous era were doing construction on the spot where 695 now is. (Okay, I might have made that up. But maybe it's true.) Oh, and good luck if there's an accident, too!
5. They don't understand why Marylanders are obsessed with our own flag.
Because it's the best one! Unless you're talking to somebody from California (and Cali, we'll admit it, you can be number 2-- you've got a pretty cool one), no one knows or cares about their flag. It'd be a shame, if their flags were as cool as ours. That's why we wear it on our sleeve, and on every other part of our clothes, too. Need some more Maryland flag clothes to let your pride shine? You know where to go, friends -- hit that Shop button up at the top of the page. And maybe get some for your out of state friends, too!