We probably all look at our horoscopes from time to time, even if it's just for fun. But there's something...missing. What's Maryland-themed about the horoscope we have now? Instead of sharing that tired old horoscope with all the other states, I say we need one of our own. Here's my spin on the classic zodiac signs--Maryland style.
Before: Aries (March 21-April 20)
After: Ocean City Boardwalk
Aries is described as a vibrant, passionate, carefree sign with talent for success and a straightforward manner. They're as fun as Boardwalk rides, with a knack for figuring out a winning strategy (like at arcade games, for instance)--surely earning every teddy bear and stuffed lion along the way. And like the Boardwalk, Aries is fun day or night, in any company. You just know how to amuse and entertain everyone you meet.
Before: Taurus (April 21-May 21)
After: Berger Cookie
Considered one of the most patient, stable and confident signs of the zodiac, Taurus embodies the classic and the traditional. Not a fan of change? Neither are those born under the sign of Taurus--or the fans of the beloved cookie. Let the naysayers say you need to change your recipe. Those that know you wouldn't change you for the world. You better believe you're so sweet that everyone likes you exactly how you are!
Before: Gemini (May 22-June 21)
After: Camden Yards and M&T Bank Stadium
If you're a Gemini, you're an energetic, natural multi-tasker who hates to be bored. Like the stadiums belonging to the Baltimore birds, you love keeping busy with game after game, buying hot dogs, and looking for the perfect jersey or hat to show your team pride. Why have one when you can have two?
Before: Cancer (June 22-July 22)
After: Maryland Crab
Come on, this one should be obvious. Cancers are hard to rattle, protective, nostalgic and family-oriented. That calls to mind a family gathering in the summer sun, cracking open a huge bushel of crabs with a loving family or friends. And if you get a little sunburn at your feast, no biggie--crabs are born to rock the red. A loyal sign, Cancers are sure to not be shellfish. (Sorry-- I had to do it!)
Before: Leo (July 23-August 22)
After: Artscape
Leos are warm, creative, joyful signs that want to lead the way. What could fit better than Baltimore's summertime Artscape festival? Sadly, Artscape isn't during Leo's time this year, but there's no denying the comparison between sunny, super-fun Leo and the sunny, super-fun art festival. Leos will have a blast taking in all the music, arts, crafts and crowds. And a lively festival is just the place to let your roar out, Leo.
Before: Virgo (August 23-September 22)
After: Old Bay
Versatility is the name of a Virgo's game. They can tackle any career with ease, and make friends with those of all walks of life. They also love to help in any way they can. So it goes with Old Bay--it gets along with everything from meat to popcorn to chips to beer. And if your dish is in need of a little assistance, trust me, Old Bay is going to make it all better.
Before: Libra (September 23-October 22)
After: Assateague Island
Libras are super-relaxed, patient and observant who just like to enjoy life as it comes. Why rush, when life is so beautiful? Just like guests on Assateague Island, where you can fish, watch birds and horses, camp or just enjoy your vacation days, Libras don't believe making the most out of life equals rushing around. Set up that campsite and listen to the sounds of nature--you have all day.
Before: Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
After: "House of Cards"
High-intensity? Sexy? Intelligent? Vengeful? If you're a Scorpio, this all applies to you. It also applies to the hit Netflix drama "House of Cards" which is filmed in a variety of Maryland locations. You're a great secret keeper, which is good--no spoilers will get leaked from you. (Turns to the camera for a dramatic monologue) And you're savvy enough to keep ahead of anyone who might be unwise enough to make an enemy of you.
Before: Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
After: Charm City Cakes
You're caring, optimistic, sweet and hard-working. You have enthusiasm and want to take a bite out of life--or maybe a bite of some cake? Just like the cake shop featured in "Ace of Cakes", you have an inner whimsy, but you also know how to get the job done in an efficient, professional manner. Just like a centaur is half man and half horse, you know how to blend two awesome things (like chocolate and raspberry, yeah?)
Before: Capricorn (December 22-January 20)
After: Under Armour
To run a business, you need to have determination, self-discipline and motivation. Capricorns have those things in spades, and they're just the type to start a successful company like Under Armour. They're great at leading, problem-solving and making money, and if they hang out in the Baltimore harbor the way Under Armour does, they won't forget to have fun sometimes, too!
Before: Aquarius (January 21-February 19)
After: John Waters
No, I didn't pick Waters because Aquarius is the water-carrier (but it works out well, doesn't it?) Aquarians are the freethinkers of the zodiac, who do things their own way, and don't care if others think it's weird. Just like John Waters, who has made his own highly unique films, you let your freak flag fly, and manage to be utterly charming as you do it. You're also great a keeping a cool head under pressure, so bad reviews don't bother you. You know your works will be cult classics one day.
Before: Pisces (February 20-March 20)
After: Baltimore Aquarium
You're a deep and thoughtful sign, and there's a lot going on in that mind of yours. Like the aquarium, there's a little bit of everything to you. Sometimes, your mood is like a tank full of sharks--but there are so many beautiful plants and fish in your personal aquarium (and birds, too!), you can't help but bounce back. Like the Baltimore aquarium, everyone who you come in contact with is filled with wonder.
This post was written by Route One Apparel blogger, Eva Niessner.
