humormdroute one apparel

New Seasons May Be Added To Maryland Calendar

Eva Niessner

R1NN (Route One News Network) has just gotten another exclusive scoop!
The Maryland state Senate will be voting on whether or not to add an additional 3-4 seasons to the Maryland calendar, bringing the total number of seasons up to as many as 8.
"Maryland weather is truly unique, and the traditional four seasons--summer, fall, winter and spring--are just not going to cut it for a state like ours," says climatologist Dr. Kevin Brown, who spoke before the senate this morning. "A state where it's 90 degrees on a Friday and 50 degrees the following Monday, it's just not enough."
Proposed seasons include Sorta Summer, Fall Except Then It Gets Really Hot, CONSTANT RAIN TIME, Crab, and All of The Above. 
"These descriptors are going to help people plan for the actual weather in Maryland," Brown went on. "Saying that it's 'Fall' doesn't help people know whether it's going to be hot or cold, sunny or rainy, windy or still. It's really just a disservice to the people of this fine state to not have better seasons in place."
Some season purists have set up a protest outside the state senate, with signs reading LEAVE OUR SEASONS ALONE. 
"There's only four seasons, even in Maryland," said protester Jack McKarey, who was wearing shorts and a winter coat because it's Maryland and, he admits, 'you never know'.
But other residents are excited by the possibility.
"I think that we need more seasons in this state," said Montgomery County resident Anna Long. "It's really about time someone did something about this."
The Senate will vote on this matter this week, unless it happens to snow and the roads are shut down, or if it's 90 degrees and too hot to meet. 

Leave a reply

sort by date

Latest articles

Where'd That Maryland City Name Come From?

09/19/23

Where'd That Maryland City Name Come ...

  Some towns and cities have pretty obvious names. They're probably named after a geographic feature, or after the person who founded it. But what about the Maryland towns with...

read more
We Love Pumpkins! 6 Pumpkin Facts You Didn't Know

08/31/23

We Love Pumpkins! 6 Pumpkin Facts You...

    1. The largest pumpkin ever grown was over a ton in weight! That's right! An Italian man named Stefano Cutrupi grew a pumpkin in 2021 that was 2,702 pounds....

read more
COLLEGE SPORTS
Quiz: How Well Do You Know These Maryland College Teams?

08/31/23

Quiz: How Well Do You Know These Mary...

Now that football season is approaching, you're probably thinking about your alma mater's homecoming game. But how well do you actually know the teams here in Maryland? If you're an...

read more
HOROSCOPE
Madame Maryland's Horoscope: September 2023

08/31/23

Madame Maryland's Horoscope: Septembe...

Fall is in the air, Marylanders! Summer is waning, and we're finally getting some nice crisp mornings -- a sure sign that autumn will be here soon. What does the...

read more
DINOSAURS
Go Back In Time! What Was Prehistoric Maryland Like?

08/09/23

Go Back In Time! What Was Prehistoric...

You've probably seen some pictures or heard some stories about what Maryland was like before you lived here or before you were born. Maybe your grandparents showed you some snapshots...

read more
DORM HACK
10 Dorm Cooking Hacks

08/10/23

10 Dorm Cooking Hacks

  It's time to head back to school, Marylanders! If you're living in a dorm for the first (or second, or third) time, you may be wondering what you can...

read more
CALICO
5 Fun Facts About Maryland's Official Feline

08/10/23

5 Fun Facts About Maryland's Official...

  If you're a cat person, you know there's nothing cuter than a cuddly calico cat. These colorful kitties are so distinctive, and they make great pets. But here in...

read more

07/26/23

Smith Island Cake: The Local Legend

Maryland is well-known for a lot of savory things -- when we say Maryland food, you're probably thinking steamed crabs crusted with Old Bay, or fries eaten at the beach,...

read more
STATE PARKS
10 Things You Didn't Know About Maryland's State Parks

07/24/23

10 Things You Didn't Know About Maryl...

No matter what season it is here in Maryland, there's a state park waiting for you -- and Maryland has some pretty fantastic hidden gems deep in its woods! How...

read more