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New Seasons May Be Added To Maryland Calendar

Eva Niessner

R1NN (Route One News Network) has just gotten another exclusive scoop!
The Maryland state Senate will be voting on whether or not to add an additional 3-4 seasons to the Maryland calendar, bringing the total number of seasons up to as many as 8.
"Maryland weather is truly unique, and the traditional four seasons--summer, fall, winter and spring--are just not going to cut it for a state like ours," says climatologist Dr. Kevin Brown, who spoke before the senate this morning. "A state where it's 90 degrees on a Friday and 50 degrees the following Monday, it's just not enough."
Proposed seasons include Sorta Summer, Fall Except Then It Gets Really Hot, CONSTANT RAIN TIME, Crab, and All of The Above. 
"These descriptors are going to help people plan for the actual weather in Maryland," Brown went on. "Saying that it's 'Fall' doesn't help people know whether it's going to be hot or cold, sunny or rainy, windy or still. It's really just a disservice to the people of this fine state to not have better seasons in place."
Some season purists have set up a protest outside the state senate, with signs reading LEAVE OUR SEASONS ALONE. 
"There's only four seasons, even in Maryland," said protester Jack McKarey, who was wearing shorts and a winter coat because it's Maryland and, he admits, 'you never know'.
But other residents are excited by the possibility.
"I think that we need more seasons in this state," said Montgomery County resident Anna Long. "It's really about time someone did something about this."
The Senate will vote on this matter this week, unless it happens to snow and the roads are shut down, or if it's 90 degrees and too hot to meet. 

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