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Madame Maryland's Horoscopes: May 2017

Eva Niessner

Madame Maryland's Horoscopes: May 2017
When you're not sure what the future holds, just look to the stars! They'll tell you everything you need to know...or you could just ask me, Madame Maryland! I've got the astrological guidance you need for the month of May--read on...
Aries: That cutie at the pool or the tailgate keeps looking your way, Aries! Are they impressed by your quick wit, your good looks and your funny stories? Or are they just checking out your Route One swimwear? Either way, now's the time to make a move. 
Taurus: Everything's been feeling so...blah, lately. You're looking for a way to shake things up, and what better way to do that than with Maryland's master of the odd and eccentric, John Waters? Maybe experiment with a new mustache style, or maybe just re-watch Hairspray. 
Gemini: You've had enough of going through the drive-thru--this is the month you've decided to learn how to cook. Home-cooked meals, here you come! (You're gonna need some kitchen gear. We've got you covered.)
Cancer: This month, you're feeling inventive. Who knows, maybe you've got the next big Maryland fad on your hand. Crab flavored milkshakes? A pillow that smells like Old Bay? Hm...well, keep working on it, Cancer.
Leo: Well, five months late is better than never, right, Leo? You just remembered your New Year's resolution was to work out more. Stay on track by buying workout gear that's so cool you'll want to wear it all the time. 
Virgo: The lyrics to "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" have been rattling around in your head--how have you made it this long into Orioles season without heading to a game? Maybe it's because you don't have anything to wear. We can fix that! 
Scorpio: The stars have favored you, Scorpio! A new set of wheels could be in your near future. But what's a new (or used, but new to you) car without some accessories to make it your own? Spruce that baby up with some grill decor or hood covers. 
Sagittarius: It seems like every person you know is getting married this month, and if you're the suit-wearing type, you're going to need a tie or two. Ladies, if you're headed to a Maryland wedding, we've got dresses and skirts to make you look great. 
Capricorn: Organized Capricorn, you've been thinking about getting into meal planning lately. Now's the time! And what better way to carry around all your Instagram-worthy meals than in a Maryland-themed lunchbox
Aquarius: A road trip is in the cards for you, but maybe it's not the best time to go to, say, Canada. Luckily, Maryland is such a cool and varied place that you don't have to cross state lines to have the time of your life. Mountains? Beaches? Check, check. Who's coming along?
Pisces: Your knowledge of random Maryland trivia is going to pay off, Pisces! Whether you're playing Jeopardy! with your fam or at a trivia night at your favorite pub, your moment to shine is coming--aren't you glad you read that book about the War of 1812?

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